Fiction by SLIM RANDLES
To The Desert Independent
December 21, 2018
Ever since ol’ Windy began a career in radio, which is unusual for an old hunting guide, cowboy, and camp cook, he’s been spending more time thinking about things to say. His radio segment, called Windy’s Words of Wisdom, has given him new purpose.
Down at the sale barn the other day, he meandered around until he had several of the guys semi-cornered. You see, the only thing in life Windy Wilson can’t live without is an audience.
“Now Doc,” Windy said, “you watch teevee, right?”
“So do I, and that’s why I’ve decided to spread out my opportunistics and go into teevee. Promote the eddiflication, you know.”
We looked at this pot-bellied bowlegged leprechaun of the valley .
“Yessir. I think the fantaculous world of teevee has been suffragetting from a paucity in true … stuff. So I think I’ll do ‘er.”
“What … I mean, what would you do on teevee, Windy?”
“Commercials. Yessir. Do you know them guys who make commercialize get money ever dang time one of them thingies is on teevee? Ever time. That’s where the dinero is. Sellin’ stuff.”
“So what would you sell?”
“Been givin’ that some thought. Think I might sell tuxeders.”
“You betcha. Ya see, how I figger it, I’ll go on teevee first dressed like this, then I’ll change into the tuxeder and show them folks at home what a difference them fancy clothes make on a real cowboy and philosophater.”
“Windy, one thing I’ll have to give you,” Doc said, “Nobody would dare miss one of those commercials of yours.”
Brought to you by the perfect stocking stuffer for that youngster, “A Cowboy’s Guide to Growing Up Right.” Available at Rio Grande Books.
"Home Country" columnist Slim Randles won three regional book awards for the two books he wrote in 2014. "Saddle Up: A Cowboy Guide to Writing" won for best how-to book and best cover design at the New Mexico/Arizona Book Awards in Albuquerque. Randles lives in Albuquerque and has a dozen books currently in print.