Fiction by SLIM RANDLES
To The Desert Independent
March 13, 2020
Well, it’s March again … the windy month. And here in Home Country we have our very own variety that blows in to have coffee with us every now and then. Windy Wilson, of course.
His takes on the human condition, and history, and darn near everything else lack only accuracy. The entertainment and color are always there, and we’re always glad to see the old camp cook and cowboy.
“Boys,” said Windy, “I guess you all figgered out what’s comin’ up here real soon. Yessir, it’s the Ideas of March. Comes ever March 15, and it’s an annual versary of the snuffin’ out of one a-them famous Romans. Julius Caesar. The boys at the farm took turns stabbin’ him ‘til he stopped givin’ speeches.
“But the good part about them Ideas of March is, you ain’t got to do nothin’ about it. You don’t have to sing songs or gather ‘round the campfire or buy presents fer yer brother or nothin’. I mean, you can jest sit back on yer own sacrolibriums and conjugate adverbs or watch teevee and pick scabs off the neighbor’s dog.
“Now this was them days when Roman guys was a-runnin’ all over conquerin’ stuff ‘cuz they already had their irrigation ditches in and had planted the alfalfa. And ol’ Julius Caesar, well he got real famous for bein’ the head conquerer. To this day, he was so famous his face is on gold coins in old dead boats on the bottom of the ocean. And a-course, you know they named a food after him. Yes they did. Thass right. We all heard of Orange Julius. Boy if I had a orange drink named for me, I b’lieve I’d open a coffee shop and call it the “Et tu Buffet.
“And you can tell ‘em I said so.
Brought to you by Ol’ Jimmy Dollar, Slim’s children’s book about a happy hounddog man and his “kids.” See it at http://nmsantos.com.
"Home Country" columnist Slim Randles won three regional book awards for the two books he wrote in 2014. "Saddle Up: A Cowboy Guide to Writing" won for best how-to book and best cover design at the New Mexico/Arizona Book Awards in Albuquerque. Randles lives in Albuquerque and has a dozen books currently in print.